Ego

Ego: What Is It And Is It Important?

Ego Self, or Local Self our Human Nature

Ego = Personality = Thought, Emotion and Physical levels.

The personality is also called the Egoic Self. There are many sub personalities within the ego self – fear, anxiety, jealousy, possessiveness, lack of self worth etc.

The Ego is not destroyed it is TRANSCENDED.

“Find me somebody who has detached his emotional and psychological ego from the real Self, without having to deny the place it plays in the scheme of things and without slaying any part of himself because the transcendence is there….a direct pathway to the Soul.” ~ Ernest Holmes

There is nothing wrong with ‘ego’ itself if we definite it as ‘personality’. Having a personality is fine and makes for some interesting characters and choices in life. It is not bad either, but patterns of reactivity (habits) have become ingrained over many incarnations because it (the ego personality) suffers from the illusion that it is separate from the Source of our Being.

Problems arise if we only operate from our ego alone as our personalities are unreliable and our ego is not all that we are.

We are body, mind, spirit, soul, emotions as well.

Walk in Peace;

Walk in Beauty.

Johnathan

 


Do You Have A Difficult Question Or Decision To Make About Your Future?

Have you got a burning question that you just can’t seem to find the answer to? It could be a simple question, such as: ‘Should I go on holiday with this hunky guy I only just met?’ Never an easy one, when it’s all expenses paid! Or, should I accept this job offer or that one?

Divination can help. Complete the following exercise, using a pad and pen, to find the answer. The whole exercise should take about 20 minutes.

1. Go for a relaxing walk outside. (If you are self conscious, you can do this exercise in your living-room, but a walk is more fun). During the walk, find a place of balance and stand on the dividing line. For example, where a pavement meets a road or where sunlight creates a shadow.

2. Close your eyes and state your intention, i.e. ‘My intention is to answer my question.’ Be clear with your intent as you state it, then ask your question: ‘My question is…’ Then, turn 360 degrees and stop. Open your eyes and write down one thing that catches your eye. This could be anything, a red sign, a tree, a bird etc.

3. Continue your walk until you find another place of balance and repeat the exercise in point 2.

4. Repeat again, for a total of 3 times. Make sure each time to state your intention and your question, and to stop at a different place.

5. Write a one paragraph story that includes the three objects that you noticed. Relate the story to your question, and like magic, you have your answer. Not sure how? Here’s how it works.

Using the above example, let’s say your 3 objects were: A plane, the colour red, and trees.

Your story could go: One beautiful day I was walking along when all of a sudden a PLANE crashed in front of me and ploughed into the TREES and burst into a RED ball of flames.

How does this relate to the question: Should I go on holiday with this hunk? Try and have a think.

Spirit Bear says that it doesn’t mean that the plane you catch together will crash and you both die, just that the holiday romance probably will crash and end in disaster.

We all know the answers to our questions at a deeper unconscious level, and this exercise simply allows the unconscious to direct our story, informing our conscious mind of the answer, which seemingly appears to us ‘as if’ it were magic. And you thought you chose the objects and wrote the story!

When we don’t listen to the answers and do what we want to do what ever, that is when our ego (personality) interferes with our core-self. This is when problems arise in our lives and we wonder why it always happens to us.

Have fun and enjoy the walk and just go with the flow.

Til we meet again.

Walk in Peace;

Walk in Beauty.

Johnathan

What people have said who have tried this:

The answers lie inside me!

“(Above Exercise) It reminded me that the answers lie inside me, as do the tools to get to them, I just need to make myself stand still for long enough for them to come to the surface.”

~ RH.

It was just right for me!

“I used Johnathan’s exercise to address a long-standing question and found a straightforward, comforting and gentle answer came to me, based on my deep core identity! Right at that moment in time, it was just right for me!”

~ Georgina, Counsellor and Psychotherapist ~ South Wales.

 

 

Case Studies

Case Study 1: ‘Ed Orange’ – A Case Study of Anxiety and Depression

Case Presentation

Ed is a 35 year old family man who works full time. He was being treated by his General Practitioner for depression with anti-depressants and had recently just had his daily dosage doubled. Ed had been seeing a psychiatrist for over ten years.

Presenting Complaints

Ed was feeling very anxious/depressed when he referred himself to me. He had a secret debt which he had kept from his wife but who had recently just found out and was furious. Ed having been divorced once before and didn’t want to go through being left alone again he loved his wife and their three children. He considered the whole situation as hopeless and had the belief that he was both worthless and useless. As a result he suffered from insomnia and was stressed from his workload at work.

Ed’s History

Ed’s ex-wife had run-off with the ‘Best Man’ from their wedding. He felt that not only had he lost his wife but had lost his best friend as well. Ed had been very ill with a heart condition when he was born and wasn’t expected to survive. His mother seemed to have detached herself in readiness and neglected her nurturing responsibilities as a mother. Ed had decided as a child that he must be worthless as his mother never supported him.

The Wound

There seemed to be a pattern. Ed had two wounds, main wound of being Rejection showing up as Panic Attacks, the fear of being pushed away. And Abandonment showing up as the fear of Solitude (left alone).

Coaching Plan

First we worked on his emotional state and brought down his anxious feelings to a manageable level using Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). This would put him in a more resourceful state for clear thoughts to take place and could practice at home or when required.

Using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), we then looked at Ed’s negative thinking styles and found he had two: “extreme thinking” and “mind reading” and looked at alternative positive thoughts. Seeing the big picture of how his thoughts affect his emotions which affect his behaviour he found enormously helpful.

CBT is a self hep treatment which focuses on changing how we feel now, a practical form of psychotherapy. It gives people the tools to make changes. Watch a short CBT information video below with a professor of CBT:

http://c.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f9?isVid=1&isUI=1

Ed began the process of un-learning unhelpful beliefs and learning to catch the negative thoughts as they occurred and after six weeks Ed is now FREE from antidepressants, is still happily married, sleeps well and as has more of a work-life balance. To his surprise his relationships with his children are noticeably better, he has more quality time to play and really be with them. He has a twinkle back in his eyes and a slide in his stride.

He’s now exploring new potential career paths that express who he really is and of course, always was.

“Johnathan has been a very strong influence in my life in past few months. I was depressed and could not see any way out of the dark depression. I had been to see my doctor who had put me on antidepressants and wanted me to see a psychologist, from past experiences I was reluctant to see a psychologist as I found it a very short term fix and unhelpful.

I went for my first session with Johnathan and found it to be such a positive and motivating session, I started seeing him on a weekly basses and grew stronger in myself week by week, the tools that Johnathan taught me to use have been excellent and have helped me to reduce my dosage of antidepressants with an aim of stopping them all together, which I did after six sessions with Johnathan.

The tools I have been given are not the short term fix I was avoiding but will remain with me for life and help me maintain the strength I have found within myself.” ~ Ed Orange

Case Study 2: ‘A Boy Aged Four’ – A Case Study of Feeling Sad

I had received a call from a young single mother who had a four year old son. At his school ‘kindergarten/reception’ class, her son was very shy and closed but was willing to join in the practises for the up coming festival. But when it came to showing the parents their showcase, he wouldn’t perform in front of the mums and dads despite really wanting to, he would get frustrated then angry which would then lead to some display of negative behaviour.

Her son was a delightful little boy, but there was one thing that was crystal clear. At this age, the cognitive process hasn’t developed yet, which meant the mental level approaches like CBT and NLP weren’t really the right tools for the job. Trying to find out whether it was a fear of performing school plays or getting it wrong or being laughed at, and any negative thoughts he may of had before any of those fears, wasn’t going to be very fruitful and nonsensical reasoning.

I decided to use Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) on the child and simply bypass thinking styles and challenging thoughts and beliefs etc.

EFT combines tapping on acupuncture points with words based on NLP.

He was able to tell me that he felt sad whenever he saw his mum in the audience. Curiously, I asked him what was he sad about when he sees his mum in the audience, he answered that he gets sad because she would leave again after the show.

I asked the mother where the father was and whether her son had been left alone in the past?  The father had never been around much after the birth of their son, and after the son was three and a half months old the mother, who worked as a make-up artist, had been offered work at the Opera House and gratefully accepted the job in order to move out of the tiny rented accommodation she had and get a mortgage for a home. By age two and a half years old, the mother then was offered a feature film contract but meant more crazy hours up to 70 hr weeks! So her son stayed with his grandmother while the mother went to work.

At this age, a child needs Love & Attention, which no doubt the grandmother was able to give to her grandson. But the son not understanding why he was dropped off may have triggered a basic wounding of ‘abandonment’ perhaps feeling a little deserted. This can lead to the fear of being alone and would therefore cling onto his mother.

After tapping a mixture of ‘fear of being alone’ and ‘feeling really sad’, half an hour later we were done. We did the same again the following week for our second session.

One of the most beautiful things working with children is how quick the sessions are as they are very receptive and not argumentative as adults can be. By dealing with this now and making it fun, means he won’t have to deal with this particular wound in 20+ years time when his negative behaviours may have magnified to something much worse! He can now be his own healer and with his new evidence can form new empowering beliefs.

This is an email I received a week later from the mother:

I took my 4 year old son to have EFT with Johnathan and have been utterly amazed at the results. After just a few days of ‘tapping’ he was no longer highly distressed when I dropped him at school but running in happy and carefree with barely a backward glance. He is starting to love playing at Kindergarten and is interacting a lot more with the friends he is making. A sight I have longed for and one that filled my heart with joy beyond words. The festival was a huge success, and he  joined in with all of it and absolutely loved it. He had a huge smile on his face the whole time and kept waving. Very cute. He is so proud of himself and wanted me to let you know he had done it.

He immediately connected to Johnathan’s warm, gentle and compassionate approach and really enjoyed learning the tapping process.

After just two sessions with Johnathan he would tell me the emotion he wanted to tap and we would do it together at home as well…and in some slightly more extraordinary locations! We were at the top of a steep tunnel slide and he really wanted to go down but was too scared (he has always been scared of these slides and has only gone down one once before) He turned around to me and said, ‘come on Mama let’s tap the scared feeling away.’ After the first round of tapping he sat down at the top of the slide, after the second round he shuffled in about an inch, after the third.. a little more of a shuffle forward and after the fourth he started to giggle and said, ‘I don’t need to do any more tapping Mama, I can do this.’ He gave me a big smile and then after a slight hesitation…off he went…whizzing down the slide, whooping. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Absolutely incredible!

The part I like the most is how easy and effective it is for him to do; for him it has already become as normal as brushing his teeth! It is a good feeling to know he has a tool which will help him all through his life, should he need to use it. Something which will help him always be true to himself…not his fears. No matter how big or small. Thank you Johnathan, for teaching my beautiful son such a wonderful healing method with such warmth and understanding.”  ~ T.M. Mother, Make-up artist and author

 

youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKDhRohzSdU&w=420&h=315

Johnathan Brooks MA PG Dip, MAC is a Cognitive Behavioural Coach who has trained in a wide range of treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) has a MA in ‘Applied Coaching’ and a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ – passed with a ‘Commendation’. Is a qualified Career Coach.

 

The 80/20 Rule: A Powerful Life Coaching & Management Tool – Spirit Bear Coaching

The 80/20 Rule: A Powerful Life Coaching & Management Tool

casual cheerful confident facial expression
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
The 80 20 Rule can also work with relationship issues too.

One of the most widely used and commonly taught principles of time management, a topic that frequently arises in personal coaching in Tunbridge wells, Kent, is the 80/20 rule. It began as a simple observation in 1906 by an Italian economist named Vilfredo Pareto, who noticed that 20% of people owned 80% of the wealth. Pareto called this phenomenon: “the vital few and the trivial many.” And after studying it extensively across diverse applications, he determined that only 20 percent of anything is responsible for 80 percent.

That means in any team or group, 20% of the members are doing 80% of the work. And in an individuals own work, 20% of what they put into something is responsible for 80% of the results. In the 1940s, Dr. Joseph M. Juran — who is responsible for naming this phenomenon the Pareto Principle — observed similarly that 20% of the defects in a product or process are responsible for 80% of the problems. So it goes both ways. In fact, as it turns out, this principle can apply to almost anything:

80% of clients deliver 20% of your income.

80% of all frustrations in a relationship are caused by just 20% of the problems.

80% of your problems are caused by 20% of your circumstances.

80% of your income comes from 20% of your work.

So in terms of personal coaching in Tunbridge wells, Kent, how does one apply this principle toward improving your own time management and productivity? Toward increasing efficiency and effectiveness, whether in your work, school or home life? By applying 80 of your efforts to the most important 20 percent of your work or goals. Or find out which 20%  is the main cause of your problems and then eliminate them.

As I share with many a client personal coaching in Tunbridge wells, Kent, the Pareto Principle teaches you how to work smarter rather than harder, by reminding you to put the bulk of your energy toward the few tasks that matter most.

’til we meet again,

Walk in Beauty;
Walk in Peace.

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Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony

Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’. And is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.

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Spirit Bear Coaching

Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Cognitive Behavioural Coach who has trained in a wide range of treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’.

 

Shamanism

How Does Soul Retrieval Relate To Practical Psychology?

“For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” ~ Jesus Christ

People are not linked up with their Soul, as their personality is not being fully self-expressed, as the Soul is the bridge to Spirit. All therapies try to make people ‘whole’ by linking people with their Soul, whether it’s mental work bringing the person to their Soul or intuitive work, the Soul to the person as in Soul Retrieval.

The way dis-ease manifests:

PHYSICAL LEVEL

MENTAL LEVEL

EMOTIONAL LEVEL

SPIRITUAL LEVEL

Everything is energy, and the different vibration rates of energy are what distinguish ourselves and all manifestation of life around us. We are born with enough energy, what acupuncturists call ‘Inherent’ energy (energy ‘within’), to last us through life. It is said that a body has enough energy to power the national grid for a city for a week. But along life’s path, we can become attached to significant traumatic events, or relationship difficulties that we end up giving our power away, or it can be taken from us. When the power leaves, it creates a ‘vacuum’ in our energy fields, a type of ‘aura leakage’, through which our own soul energy leaks away. This is called Soul Loss.

Soul Loss can happen at any time when we are traumatised, physically abused, suffer from accidents etc that a part of our soul energy splits off and leaves the body and physical world from shear shock, pain and discomfort as an act of healing and preservation, the result of which over time has detrimental effects shown up by any dissociation symptoms like depression, fears, phobias or addictions. At which point the soul energy part needs to be unified with the body again.

Retrieving the power and sense of ourselves, that we gave away or had been taken from us is called Soul Retrieval. And it is the Shaman’s job to seek and return the missing soul from the ‘Otherworld’ or what the Aborigines call the ‘Dreamtime’ where the soul has been trapped, allowing the client to move forward with their life now.

To understand how soul retrieval works, we need to understand the difference between ‘Western – Left brain’ and ‘Native – Right brain’ views.

Some Left Brain or Western Beliefs that lead to separation:

¨      Time is a straight line    Now  ——————–> Future

¨      God is separate from us .i.e. God in Heaven

¨      We are separate from Nature

Some Right Brain Native/Shamanic Beliefs:

¨      Time is in the here and now

¨      Time is a circle    (Medicine Wheel, Circle of Life)

¨      Space is a Dot

¨      Nature has Rhythms

¨      God is a part of us

¨      Everything is connected

Drumming/Rattling/Dancing/Chanting/Praying are rituals to access the ‘Higher Self’ by slowing the brain down. Drumming induces ‘Theta’ brain waves and therefore produces profound changes of awareness.

If reality is a subjective experience, which is the greater reality, the physical world or dreamtime?  What of the Past? Then that could only be a mistaken subjective experience.

If a traumatic event happened to a person many years ago, for that person it is still happening, as they are re-living it in their mind with all their senses. Therefore, the Shaman journeys outside of linear time to the place where that traumatic event is still happening, in another parallel world and find and bring back the soul to the person.

Praying to each of the four directions helps us to get centred by coming out of trance and into ‘Alpha’ energy before going into an altered state of consciousness.

Each of the four directions has special energy powers and is represented by an animal. The powers from the East are represented by the Eagle, the South by the Mouse or Coyote, the West by the Bear, and the North by the Buffalo. To call upon these powers, stand and face each of the directions starting with the East and honour and pray for the animal in each direction. This allows us to become balanced and centred in the Alpha healing mode. When we are centred, then we are ready to call the helpers or guides. The Shaman becomes like a hollow bone, an instrument for Spirit to enter to communicate the Creators Will on Earth.

The Soul is the bridge between Spirit and Body. And only when the physical body is complete or balanced, which takes a life time, can we truly allow Spirit into our Body.

We tend to only express ourselves, not from our gifts of who we really are, but from our lower selves, the emotional level. Our life’s work is to unify Body, Soul and then Spirit. The Soul is sometimes called the reflection of the Spirit, and the personality is called its shadow.

How old is a Soul? Since we are working at soul level, there is always a chance that the significant event happened in a past life before the trauma in this life. You can recognise old souls by their eyes which seem to be illuminated from within. Watch babies and children communicate telepathically through the light of their eyes. Babies pick up adult thoughts by what the adult is imagining .i.e. images or symbols. As we get older we loose that skill as we learn language.

Is a New Soul ever born? Yes, sometimes.

When does the Soul enter the Body? An age old question that nobody can answer truthfully. There are theories that the soul enters at conception, after conception, at birth or shortly after birth. If you believe in a Divine plan, then you may lean towards sometime before birth. But there’s no real need to dwell on such questions as it serves no purpose.

’til we meet again,

Walk in Peace;

Walk in Beauty.

Johnathan

 


Do You Have A Difficult Question Or Decision To Make About Your Future?

Have you got a burning question that you just can’t seem to find the answer to? It could be a simple question, such as: ‘Should I go on holiday with this hunky guy I only just met?’ Never an easy one, when it’s all expenses paid! Or, should I accept this job offer or that one?

Divination can help. Complete the following exercise, using a pad and pen, to find the answer. The whole exercise should take about 20 minutes.

1. Go for a relaxing walk outside. (If you are self conscious, you can do this exercise in your living-room, but a walk is more fun). During the walk, find a place of balance and stand on the dividing line. For example, where a pavement meets a road or where sunlight creates a shadow.

2. Close your eyes and state your intention, i.e. ‘My intention is to answer my question.’ Be clear with your intent as you state it, then ask your question: ‘My question is…’ Then, turn 360 degrees and stop. Open your eyes and write down one thing that catches your eye. This could be anything, a red sign, a tree, a bird etc.

3. Continue your walk until you find another place of balance and repeat the exercise in point 2.

4. Repeat again, for a total of 3 times. Make sure each time to state your intention and your question, and to stop at a different place.

5. Write a one paragraph story that includes the three objects that you noticed. Relate the story to your question, and like magic, you have your answer. Not sure how? Here’s how it works.

Using the above example, let’s say your 3 objects were: A plane, the colour red, and trees.

Your story could go: One beautiful day I was walking along when all of a sudden a PLANE crashed in front of me and ploughed into the TREES and burst into a RED ball of flames.

How does this relate to the question: Should I go on holiday with this hunk? Try and have a think.

Spirit Bear says that it doesn’t mean that the plane you catch together will crash and you both die, just that the holiday romance probably will crash and end in disaster.

We all know the answers to our questions at a deeper unconscious level, and this exercise simply allows the unconscious to direct our story, informing our conscious mind of the answer, which seemingly appears to us ‘as if’ it were magic. And you thought you chose the objects and wrote the story!

When we don’t listen to the answers and do what we want to do what ever, that is when our ego (personality) interferes with our core-self. This is when problems arise in our lives and we wonder why it always happens to us.

Have fun and enjoy the walk and just go with the flow.

Til we meet again.

Walk in Peace;

Walk in Beauty.

Johnathan

What people have said who have tried this:

The answers lie inside me!

“(Above Exercise) It reminded me that the answers lie inside me, as do the tools to get to them, I just need to make myself stand still for long enough for them to come to the surface.”

~ RH.

It was just right for me!

“I used Johnathan’s exercise to address a long-standing question and found a straightforward, comforting and gentle answer came to me, based on my deep core identity! Right at that moment in time, it was just right for me!”

~ Georgina, Counsellor and Psychotherapist ~ South Wales.