Christmas Message: The Return of Light

Each year a local church sends out a card with the times of its Christmas services. The picture on the front changes annually, but the headline is always the same.

HOPE IS BORN

The idea of decorating Christmas trees has its roots in Winter solstice

This is sent to us at a time of darkness when we are in such desperate need of finding a better way for living our lives in creative harmony and support for each other.

Just when the power of the sun is at it’s very lowest, and the night of the beginning of Winter solstice (about 21st – 23rd December, this year 21st)  the very longest of the year, if we will give ourselves the opportunity, we can focus on our own dark shadow side and begin to realise when and where we, as individuals have not lived up to the ideal of expressing Good Will to all men.

If we can but acknowledge it, this dark place within is our place of hope and creativity, and the place where we begin to know ourselves as ultimately ‘light’ filled. Here we can transform our deep and long held (and mostly unconscious) fears of being exploited by betrayal, abandonment, rejection, humiliation and being the victim in an unjust world. Here we can convert those fears back to their original positive expression as at our very beginnings.

Faith in the ultimate goodness of all life, and charity as our way of serving that ideal, while Hope, with the returning power, the rebirth of Light at Christmas can inspire us to a changed future.

Have a M-E-R-R-Y  C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S !

’til we meet again,

Walk in Beauty;

Walk in Peace.

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Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony

Johnathan Brooks MA, PG Dip, MAC is a Life Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Postgraduate Diploma Degree in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’, and a Master of Arts in  ‘Applied Coaching’. He is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC), a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP and a full member of European and Mentoring Council (UK).

Christmas Message: Visions Of Hope

At Christmas time we light candles to hope and look forward expectantly for the rebirth of goodwill between all men. But then we read or hear the world news.

Christmas candles of Hope for the rebirth of goodwill between all men.
Christmas candles of Hope for the rebirth of goodwill between all men.

The visions of Christmastide show no signs of becoming reality in the New Year, rather, there seems to be an increase in divisiveness. But there is still hope.

Even while candles are still burning on our Trees of Life, and daylight hours are lengthening, the news of a new shadow of darkness, of deprivation, greed and hostility appears to be separating us further from some of our fellow men.

In earlier epochs it was understood by mankind that prosperous, peaceful communities were created by women using their intuitive wisdom and inspirations, while men, providing qualities of physical strength and focus could turn those inspirations into the practical realities of daily living. Both were necessary in the creation of meaning for authentic lives, but if one quality became devalued (as those of womanhood still are) then mankind could not prosper, and wars initiated by males seeking to demonstrate or prove the superiority of their strength and dogmatic ideas compared with the wider less fixed viewpoint of women ensued.

But now we are at the very beginning of a new 21 hundred year cycle of a new era – the Aquarian Age who sign is that of female nurturing water being poured onto a thirsty earth. In the culture of some First Nation Americans, understanding this ancient scenario, after years of infighting between some tribes (including my own Northern Cheyenne) The Great Law of Peace was written.

This is called the Iroquois Constitution (around 1142 AD), and the Chiefs declared that in future leaders of tribes will be decided upon by women, for two reasons:

The first was that only women could decide with detached selflessness that which was best for the tribe – men often being influenced by the power of their personal egos; and secondly, because women were the ones who suffered the greatest pain of giving birth and losing loved ones in battle only they were the ones who can decide if war was worth dying for.

Today we have to ask ourselves if the influence, of women is going sufficiently to bring the visions of Christmas closer to manifestation. Hopefully, the time is approaching when both men and women are able to demonstrate the qualities of both, and lead integrated whole lives, able to overcome the distortions in the heart and minds of our sick presently seemingly separated brethren.

’til we meet again,

Walk in Beauty;

Walk in Peace.

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Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony

Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’. And is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC), a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP and a full member of European and Mentoring Council (UK).

Heal Your Wounds and Find Your True Self Archives – Spirit Bear Coaching

Life Coaching: Do Clients That Suffer Really ‘Ask’ For it?

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In my life coaching practice in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, when listening to clients’ stories, I listen not to the content of their story, but to the context and structure. How did they get into this situation/mess? Or, How do they do that (the issue)? Basic life coaching will simply work on those levels, which is fine. But, if one really listens, the client will also talk about how the issue ‘wounds’ them, but gets missed by the life coach or even by therapists.

On this deeper level, you can then ask how has the wound continued to pop up through out their lives way before the issue that they came to seek help for? Their life script! But when did this wound really start, could they somehow have brought the wound into this lifetime? Now, we’re really going even deeper to their core ‘wounding’. And deeper still, could we therefore all not only have chosen our wounding but also our parents before birth?

In a previous article I wrote about ‘Do We Plan Our Life Challenges Before Birth?’ And is also worth reading to shed more light on the subject.

However, this is not readily accepted by the average person’s belief system of having to experience something to believe it, after all ‘seeing is believing’. Or is it? Can we really trust our perception of events if we project outwards, after generalising, distorting and deleting the information in our brains?

The subject raised is of course a vast one of the evolutionary expansion of the brain, and if you have not already read it I would suggest you read Deepak Chopra’s and Rudolph Tanzi’s ‘Super Brain’, 20012, for the relationship of mind, brain and consciousness. Another useful book is Llyn Roberts ‘Shaping Shifting Into Higher Consciousness’, 2010.

The first issue of choosing one’s parents before birth, I cannot do better than refer you to the incarnation process and soul counselling before conception as have been described by Mme Blazatsky, Alice Bailey, Phoebe Benedict and Eva Pierrakos and apparently depends upon:

1. The maturity of the incoming soul, and

2. The expectant parent with providing the needed life experiences for the fulfilment of the future life task of their child.

So here we come to people’s/client’s need to experience and their (non) belief system. I would first ask:

What is an experience for? The answer has been given, as ‘Every experience is a way to understand and move towards a greater awareness of our journey of inner growth towards Oneness.’ But no experience happens by chance and everything has higher purpose and meaning so the goal is out of separatism into wholeness. A Course In Miracles says, “The choice of the goal is mine, I chose the feelings I experience and I am responsible for what I see”(my reality).

So the problems and painful experiences I encounter through life are:

1. Inherited as part of my soul task, and

2. From my early conditioning and these wounds are named by at least three writers as: Rejection, Abandonment, Humiliation, Betrayal, and Injustice.

And my attitude towards life or belief system about the world is filtered through a mind-set of feelings, thoughts, ideas, and memories that effect my perceptions.

A Course In Miracles says, ‘The atonement (Oneness) might be equated with total escape from the Past and total lack of interest in the Future.’ Heaven is here, now. It is our one responsible to except this atonement. If our intention directs our development process towards healing, wholeness/home this is our life purpose and our unconscious mind will bring into consciousness outer life opportunities for growth.

To say you cannot believe in anything you have not experience is perhaps saying some experiences are too painful to face and victimhood is preferable to the responsibilities of empowerment.

I therefore suggest we all consider which type of wounding resonates with you the most and reflect on the mask you have chosen to wear to hide from the problems you have yet to solve.

These masks maybe of:

  1. Withdrawal,
  2. Dependence,
  3. Masochism (emotional/mental abuse),
  4. Control, or
  5. Rigidity/Denial

Ref: Lise Bourbeau ‘Heal Your Wounds and Find Your True Self’ 2001. 

I hope this addresses a small part of our questions. I like to go much deeper than your average life coach in Tunbridge Wells, Kent. I’ve had too within my own life otherwise our stuff (wounds) will keep on resurfacing!

“In every work of genius, we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

’til we meet again,

Walk in Beauty;
Walk in Peace.

signature

 

Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony

Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’. And is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.

Hopelessness Archives – Spirit Bear Coaching

How to Raise Resilient Children

At my daughter’s local primary school in Tunbridge Wells,  the Principal Head asked me to come for an hour one to one life coaching meeting with him to discuss how to build resilience in children. He had noticed over the last few year’s that the resilience in the children had deteriorated. He was concerned that many parents were putting their children under immense pressure to pass the 11 plus as we were in the grammar system area. Self harming was on the increase to 1 in 60 pupils at the school at about the age of ten, which is when the 11 plus is taken.

I was also invited to a parent forum to discuss resilience with the aim of possible content for a school booklet on the subject to help parents raise resilient children. The booklet is still an on going process. Listening to the parents complain to the Principal Head about why their child didn’t make the football team or the gymnastics team made me see how the backgrounds and negative beliefs of the parents is projected onto their children.

For example, if your son wasn’t selected for the football team and you realised that all of the selected boys birthdays were pre-christmas and your son is a post-christmas birthdate, it may well be that the six months difference in strength, speed and skill is big. But if you then tell your son this, will this empower him or give him the sense of ‘hopelessness’ and feel that it’s not worth trying? When perhaps, simply asking your son ‘So what are you going to do about it?’ allows him to take responsibility and teaches him to look for a solution for himself, rather than arguing with the school as a strategy to get your way, a model that your son would then learn from you, who then possibly becomes one of the unpleasant members in society who screams in playgrounds/parks/streets or later in the workplace as a means of getting what they want.

This got me thinking for a blog article.

One of the most difficult things a parent, guardian or teacher has to endure is watching the children they love struggle with change, adversity and loss. We can’t protect them from the realities of life, we realise in these helpless moments. But what we can do is raise our children to be resilient in such realities.

What Makes a Child Resilient

In the extensive “A Guide to Promoting Resilience in Children” by Edith H. Grotberg, Ph.D. of The International Resilience Project, children draw on 3 “sources of resilience”:

  • What and whom they HAVE around them for structure, safety and support. This includes trustworthy relationships, structure in their home, positive role models, encouragement toward autonomy, and access to the necessities of their health, education, security and welfare.
  • Who they ARE as a person that makes them safe and secure in their world. This includes feeling loved and lovable, developing compassion and empathy, pride in oneself, self-responsibility, and a positive attitude.
  • What they CAN do to affect their own safety and security. This includes skills in communication, problem solving, impulse control, dealing responsibly with emotions, measuring the emotional “temperature” of themselves and others, and seeking help from the right people at the right times.

Another way Dr. Grotberg describes these qualities is as: Love, Inner Strength, and Interpersonal Skills.

In order for a child to be as resilient as possible to all circumstances, all three of these sources of resilience — love, inner strength, and interpersonal skills — must be developed to their fullest. Children must have a support system on hand to go through their toughest (and brightest) experiences with them. Children must develop the qualities of being and self-awareness required for resilience (e.g. respect for others, self-responsibility, positive attitude, willingness to help). And children must be able and empowered to interact effectively with the world in which they live (e.g. talking about their problems, controlling their negative impulses, seeking help when needed).

The American Psychological Association lists “10 Tips for building resilience in children and teens” on their website filled with great common-sense advice that we often overlook, or forget how much it matters.

This includes:

  • creating a daily routine and sticking to it
  • promoting good hygiene and self-care
  • speaking openly and honestly about the inevitability of change
  • helping your child to build strong relationships and help other people

 

’til we meet again,

Walk in Beauty;
Walk in Peace.

signature

 

Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony

Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’. And is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.

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