Tag: The Professional Guild of NLP

Christmas Message: The Return of Light

Christmas Message: The Return of Light

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Each year a local church sends out a card with the times of its Christmas services. The picture on the front changes annually, but the headline is always the same.

HOPE IS BORN

The idea of decorating Christmas trees has its roots in Winter solstice

This is sent to us at a time of darkness when we are in such desperate need of finding a better way for living our lives in creative harmony and support for each other.

Just when the power of the sun is at it’s very lowest, and the night of the beginning of Winter solstice (about 21st – 23rd December, this year 21st)  the very longest of the year, if we will give ourselves the opportunity, we can focus on our own dark shadow side and begin to realise when and where we, as individuals have not lived up to the ideal of expressing Good Will to all men.

If we can but acknowledge it, this dark place within is our place of hope and creativity, and the place where we begin to know ourselves as ultimately ‘light’ filled. Here we can transform our deep and long held (and mostly unconscious) fears of being exploited by betrayal, abandonment, rejection, humiliation and being the victim in an unjust world. Here we can convert those fears back to their original positive expression as at our very beginnings.

Faith in the ultimate goodness of all life, and charity as our way of serving that ideal, while Hope, with the returning power, the rebirth of Light at Christmas can inspire us to a changed future.

Have a M-E-R-R-Y  C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S !

’til we meet again,

Walk in Beauty;

Walk in Peace.

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‘Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony‘

Johnathan Brooks MA, PG Dip, MAC is a Life Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Postgraduate Diploma Degree in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’, and a Master of Arts in  ‘Applied Coaching’. He is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC), a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP and a full member of European and Mentoring Council (UK).

Heal Your Wounds and Find Your True Self Archives – Spirit Bear Coaching

Heal Your Wounds and Find Your True Self Archives – Spirit Bear Coaching

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Life Coaching: Do Clients That Suffer Really ‘Ask’ For it?

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In my life coaching practice in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, when listening to clients’ stories, I listen not to the content of their story, but to the context and structure. How did they get into this situation/mess? Or, How do they do that (the issue)? Basic life coaching will simply work on those levels, which is fine. But, if one really listens, the client will also talk about how the issue ‘wounds’ them, but gets missed by the life coach or even by therapists.

On this deeper level, you can then ask how has the wound continued to pop up through out their lives way before the issue that they came to seek help for? Their life script! But when did this wound really start, could they somehow have brought the wound into this lifetime? Now, we’re really going even deeper to their core ‘wounding’. And deeper still, could we therefore all not only have chosen our wounding but also our parents before birth?

In a previous article I wrote about ‘Do We Plan Our Life Challenges Before Birth?’ And is also worth reading to shed more light on the subject.

However, this is not readily accepted by the average person’s belief system of having to experience something to believe it, after all ‘seeing is believing’. Or is it? Can we really trust our perception of events if we project outwards, after generalising, distorting and deleting the information in our brains?

The subject raised is of course a vast one of the evolutionary expansion of the brain, and if you have not already read it I would suggest you read Deepak Chopra’s and Rudolph Tanzi’s ‘Super Brain’, 20012, for the relationship of mind, brain and consciousness. Another useful book is Llyn Roberts ‘Shaping Shifting Into Higher Consciousness’, 2010.

The first issue of choosing one’s parents before birth, I cannot do better than refer you to the incarnation process and soul counselling before conception as have been described by Mme Blazatsky, Alice Bailey, Phoebe Benedict and Eva Pierrakos and apparently depends upon:

1. The maturity of the incoming soul, and

2. The expectant parent with providing the needed life experiences for the fulfilment of the future life task of their child.

So here we come to people’s/client’s need to experience and their (non) belief system. I would first ask:

What is an experience for? The answer has been given, as ‘Every experience is a way to understand and move towards a greater awareness of our journey of inner growth towards Oneness.’ But no experience happens by chance and everything has higher purpose and meaning so the goal is out of separatism into wholeness. A Course In Miracles says, “The choice of the goal is mine, I chose the feelings I experience and I am responsible for what I see”(my reality).

So the problems and painful experiences I encounter through life are:

1. Inherited as part of my soul task, and

2. From my early conditioning and these wounds are named by at least three writers as: Rejection, Abandonment, Humiliation, Betrayal, and Injustice.

And my attitude towards life or belief system about the world is filtered through a mind-set of feelings, thoughts, ideas, and memories that effect my perceptions.

A Course In Miracles says, ‘The atonement (Oneness) might be equated with total escape from the Past and total lack of interest in the Future.’ Heaven is here, now. It is our one responsible to except this atonement. If our intention directs our development process towards healing, wholeness/home this is our life purpose and our unconscious mind will bring into consciousness outer life opportunities for growth.

To say you cannot believe in anything you have not experience is perhaps saying some experiences are too painful to face and victimhood is preferable to the responsibilities of empowerment.

I therefore suggest we all consider which type of wounding resonates with you the most and reflect on the mask you have chosen to wear to hide from the problems you have yet to solve.

These masks maybe of:

  1. Withdrawal,
  2. Dependence,
  3. Masochism (emotional/mental abuse),
  4. Control, or
  5. Rigidity/Denial

Ref: Lise Bourbeau ‘Heal Your Wounds and Find Your True Self’ 2001. 

I hope this addresses a small part of our questions. I like to go much deeper than your average life coach in Tunbridge Wells, Kent. I’ve had too within my own life otherwise our stuff (wounds) will keep on resurfacing!

“In every work of genius, we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

’til we meet again,

Walk in Beauty;
Walk in Peace.

signature

 

‘Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony‘

Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’. And is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.

Reflection Archives – Spirit Bear Coaching

Reflection Archives – Spirit Bear Coaching

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The Law of Attraction In A Nutshell

‘Purposeful Manifestation Through Focusing’

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When the book and subsequent movie of The Secret came out, people everywhere were buzzing about its revelation: the Law of Attraction. Revealed as the key to the prolific success of some of history’s greatest minds, like Michelangelo and Thomas Jefferson, the Law of Attraction is a powerful insight into the workings of nature that can be consciously, intentional used as a tool for manifestation. A tool whose ideas underlie many, if not most, other manifestation processes.

As big a “secret” as it may be (or rather, may once have been) it is actually quite a simple concept to understand. It is divided into three steps for manifesting, or “attracting”, anything you want into your life. Those three steps are as follows:

1.      Ask
2.      Accept
3.      Allow

Now let’s break these steps down for you, one at a time.

1. Ask

To have what you want, you first must know what you want. Asking is a process of letting the universe know what you want. And maybe even more importantly, letting it know that you know what you want.

Why is this important? Because in doing so, you’re generating a very clear and decisive energy. The source likes that. The clearer and more definitive, the better. Because it is that clarity of vision of knowing what you want, coupled with the singularity of desire that comes from asking for it that targets the “object” of your desire with laser-point accuracy.

2. Accept

Most people have some experience with step 1. Whether in prayer or goal-setting, most of you reading this have already at one time or another asked for what you want. Many of us also know (some, all to well) the experience of asking for what we want and not getting it. That is because asking for it is only the 1st step of the process, and many people either stop here or worse, take actions completely counterproductive to the law of attraction. We ask for what we want, then we promptly, clumsily get in our own way and thwart it’s manifestation.

What actions? Those they display doubt and uncertainty about getting those goals met. Like whining and fretting and complaining about “not having” it yet. Like worrying about your future should you not get it, or worse taking actions that imagine it not happening instead of taking actions that imagine success.

That’s where steps 2 and 3 come into the picture.

Step 2, or Accept, could also be called Receive, because it’s about trusting that your request was heard, and more, that it’s been granted. It’s the meaning of “Ask and ye shall Receive”: that in the asking, you instantaneously set in motion a cycle of energetic events that has the object of your desire already on its way to you.

So what do you do? You sit back and relax, content in the knowledge that your request has been heard and granted and you can move onto other things. If you don’t, and you constantly obsess over this thing you want to manifest, then you’re showing the universe that you don’t really believe it’s coming. You push it away with your distrust of the process instead of accepting that it’s on its way.

3. Allow

The other way we push the manifestation of our desires away is with a sense of undeserving-ness. We don’t act like we get what we want in life, so our life produces evidence of that. But if we act like we get what we want in life, our life produces evidence of that. We must Allow the fulfillment of our wishes to come into our life by creating the energy that supports their existence.

And the way that we do that is by feeling inside what it’s like (not what it would be like, but what it is like) to have the fulfillment of your desires here and now. If step 2 is about Knowing, step 3 is about Feeling. You must exude the energy of someone who’s living as if their next fulfilment is on its way, like a houseguest. You need do nothing but prepare your home for their arrival.

Live life purposefully manifesting, through focusing!

’til we meet again,

Walk in Peace;
Walk in Beauty.

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‘Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony‘

Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Cognitive Behavioural Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’.

He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.

Why we shouldn’t celebrate Osama Bin Ladin’s death?

We are One….deep down in our shadow self, there may be a part of us all that is part Osama.

If you believe in Oneness one can’t pick and choose which we’re one with and which one we’re not. Perhaps he reflected mans lack of ‘Brotherhood’. Either case, there’s little point in popping Champaign. One needs to go deeper in much the same way in Germany’s role in the ‘shadow of Europe’ twice!

Why does one need to mourn or celebrate? The only thing people should ask themselves is: How does this affect me? If Osama is a reflection of me (in some way), is there a part of me that is a bit fanatical? And if so, how can I neutralise it?

We can’t have Peace in the world until you have Peace within us first. People that celebrate the death are not seeing the whole picture the ‘complete change’ into the Compassionate Age.

Those that celebrate are coming from the old reactionary state are stuck in the old ideas of retribution, an eye for an eye, but that just makes people blind.

Jung said that (and he wasn’t the only one) only when there is nothing else you can do then you let go and let in the Higher energies. Let go meaning letting go of our personality Self to have it our way only. I’ll leave that for your own interpretation as to what he meant by Higher energies.

Hopelessness Archives – Spirit Bear Coaching

Hopelessness Archives – Spirit Bear Coaching

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How to Raise Resilient Children

At my daughter’s local primary school in Tunbridge Wells,  the Principal Head asked me to come for an hour one to one life coaching meeting with him to discuss how to build resilience in children. He had noticed over the last few year’s that the resilience in the children had deteriorated. He was concerned that many parents were putting their children under immense pressure to pass the 11 plus as we were in the grammar system area. Self harming was on the increase to 1 in 60 pupils at the school at about the age of ten, which is when the 11 plus is taken.

I was also invited to a parent forum to discuss resilience with the aim of possible content for a school booklet on the subject to help parents raise resilient children. The booklet is still an on going process. Listening to the parents complain to the Principal Head about why their child didn’t make the football team or the gymnastics team made me see how the backgrounds and negative beliefs of the parents is projected onto their children.

For example, if your son wasn’t selected for the football team and you realised that all of the selected boys birthdays were pre-christmas and your son is a post-christmas birthdate, it may well be that the six months difference in strength, speed and skill is big. But if you then tell your son this, will this empower him or give him the sense of ‘hopelessness’ and feel that it’s not worth trying? When perhaps, simply asking your son ‘So what are you going to do about it?’ allows him to take responsibility and teaches him to look for a solution for himself, rather than arguing with the school as a strategy to get your way, a model that your son would then learn from you, who then possibly becomes one of the unpleasant members in society who screams in playgrounds/parks/streets or later in the workplace as a means of getting what they want.

This got me thinking for a blog article.

One of the most difficult things a parent, guardian or teacher has to endure is watching the children they love struggle with change, adversity and loss. We can’t protect them from the realities of life, we realise in these helpless moments. But what we can do is raise our children to be resilient in such realities.

What Makes a Child Resilient

In the extensive “A Guide to Promoting Resilience in Children” by Edith H. Grotberg, Ph.D. of The International Resilience Project, children draw on 3 “sources of resilience”:

  • What and whom they HAVE around them for structure, safety and support. This includes trustworthy relationships, structure in their home, positive role models, encouragement toward autonomy, and access to the necessities of their health, education, security and welfare.
  • Who they ARE as a person that makes them safe and secure in their world. This includes feeling loved and lovable, developing compassion and empathy, pride in oneself, self-responsibility, and a positive attitude.
  • What they CAN do to affect their own safety and security. This includes skills in communication, problem solving, impulse control, dealing responsibly with emotions, measuring the emotional “temperature” of themselves and others, and seeking help from the right people at the right times.

Another way Dr. Grotberg describes these qualities is as: Love, Inner Strength, and Interpersonal Skills.

In order for a child to be as resilient as possible to all circumstances, all three of these sources of resilience — love, inner strength, and interpersonal skills — must be developed to their fullest. Children must have a support system on hand to go through their toughest (and brightest) experiences with them. Children must develop the qualities of being and self-awareness required for resilience (e.g. respect for others, self-responsibility, positive attitude, willingness to help). And children must be able and empowered to interact effectively with the world in which they live (e.g. talking about their problems, controlling their negative impulses, seeking help when needed).

The American Psychological Association lists “10 Tips for building resilience in children and teens” on their website filled with great common-sense advice that we often overlook, or forget how much it matters.

This includes:

  • creating a daily routine and sticking to it
  • promoting good hygiene and self-care
  • speaking openly and honestly about the inevitability of change
  • helping your child to build strong relationships and help other people

 

’til we meet again,

Walk in Beauty;
Walk in Peace.

signature

 

‘Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony‘

Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’. And is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.

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