How to Make 2014 Your Best Year Yet: Part I – New Year’s Resolutions That Stick

As we reach another New Year’s Eve, it’s time to look back on how well we have (or haven’t, as the case may be) achieved our goals of the previous year, and look ahead to how we can achieve more of what we want in the coming year. Sadly, many people find at this time that they’ve fallen far short of their expectations for themselves over the previous year, a fact that’s given New Year’s resolutions a bad name. But the truth is, with millions of people worldwide all setting intentions for the year ahead, there’s no better time to put your energy into the mix and benefit from group intention. So how do you do it in a way that works? How do you set New Year’s resolutions that stick?
The first and most important step is setting specific goals. The more specific you can be about what you want, the easier it is to achieve it, and the more likely you are to be successful in achieving it. For example, a goal of saving £1,000 by December 31, 2014 is a lot more useful than a goal of saving more. Why is this?
Because when we get specific, we put our minds to work. You want to save more? Fine. How much more? Why? What do you plan to use that money for? Why £1,000 and not £500 or £2,000? Why December and not September? All of these questions, and more, come into play when getting specific about your goal. And when you put your mind to work answering these questions, you put more of that psychic, magnetic, manifestation energy out into the universe to help attract that goal to you.
What’s more, getting specific about your goal helps you visualise the achievement of that goal. You want £1,000 to start your child’s college fund? In order to come up with that answer, you actually had to imagine your child going to college, visualise her getting her education, her diploma up there in cap and gown, her first job. Maybe you want £1,000 to redo your bathroom. That gets you visualising the bathroom you want, and that visualisation is what helps draw to you the money necessary to make it happen.
As I tell my clients life coaching in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, the more you know precisely what you want, the easier it is to get it. Use New Year’s 2014 as an opportunity to get more in touch with what you really want. And then hop on the global psychic manifestation energy train of people worldwide making New Year’s resolutions too, and put the power of group intention to work for you.
Wishing you all a HAPPY and ABUNDANT New Year!
’til we meet again,
Walk in Beauty;
Walk in Peace.
‘Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony‘
Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’. And is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.
He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.

Dealing With Alcoholism

On my return of my very first trip back from the Northern Cheyenne Reservation, summer of 1985, I had seen first hand what alcohol had done to the Native Americans. It took over four weeks back in Kent, England before I would touch a drop of alcohol again. I even thought for a while that pubs were blood money, I had that much anger about what it had done to my people.
One summer, I had a romance with a descendant of a famous Chief, by the following summer, when I went to visit her to let her know that I was back, her parents had no idea where she was and she hadn’t been back home for a few days. So I asked the younger brothers and sisters where she was and borrowed the parent’s pick-up truck to look for her. The kids would never tell their parents where she was, but would tell me.
We found her in the middle nowhere, as far as I was concerned, in what is called a ‘party house’, usually windows broken and really just a drinker’s den. She was lying asleep in the sweltering August afternoon heat and in the other room lay another older woman, both comatosed. I lifted and carried the daughter and dumped her in the back of the pick-up and drove her home. The parents pleased with my find, put her into her bedroom to sleep. There was nothing more I could do so I returned a couple of days later to see how she was to find that she was gone again. She had chosen alcohol over seeing me again. What a difference, twelve months make. So I left it, I wasn’t going down that road with her, I had to be strong.
It’s true to say on the physical level that alcohol is addictive and effects the emotional level as well. But you could also say that there’s an alcohol problem if it effects your relationships.
Many spiritual leaders and mind-body specialists now believe alcoholism is a physical manifestation of a rejection and denial of the Self. According to this perspective many alcoholics tend to be fleeing themselves or some part of themselves, refusing to confront their deep-rooted fear and shame, self-loathing, and/or inadequacy to love themselves.
Understandably, this mode of belief appears to challenge the notion that alcoholism is a disease over which the afflicted has no control. One problem with that notion, however, is that it feeds into the sense most alcoholics have of being “out of control” over themselves and their lives. Dealing with alcoholism from a mind-body perspective empowers the individual to affect positive, proactive changes in their innermost being that will presumably then reflect outwardly in positive, proactive change in their lives.
As an exercise for dealing with alcoholism on a spiritual level, try this:
1. Find a private room where you can lock the door and will not be disturbed.
2. Stand in front of a mirror – a full-length mirror is best. It is also best if you are naked, but this is something you can work up to as you practice this exercise over time.
3. Look yourself in the eyes and say aloud: “I love you.”
4. Now stay silent and breathe and listen to the denials, objections, rejections, refusals, contradictions, mockery, and all other negative statements that come up between you and the full acceptance of this statement.
5. Without judgment, without reaction, simply take a deep breathe into your belly and release all that negativity with a loud, expulsive sigh: “Ahh!”
6. Then look yourself in the eyes again, and again make that same statement aloud, “I love you.” It’s important to find something good about yourself, because you are a part of life. If you can’t love yourself, then you can’t love life.
7. Repeat Steps 5 and 6 until you are able to hear that statement and take it in without judgment, without rejection, without negation. It may take some time, but it will happen.
8. Then try this exercise with other statements, like: “I forgive myself,” “I’m worth it,” “I am good enough,” “I am in control of my actions, my life,” etc.
The beauty of this exercise is that it helps inure you to the triggers for alcoholic behaviour while working to reshape the very patterns of thought and feeling that fed this beast alcohol addiction. The more you look those patterns in the face, the weaker that beast becomes and the less power it has over you.
Also, EFT really helps with addictions. Please feel free to call me at my Tunbridge Wells, Kent life coaching practice if you’d like a free 30 min consultation to see how I can help. This is one road I can go down with you.
’til we meet again,
Walk in Beauty;
Walk in Peace.
‘Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony‘
Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’. And is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.
He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.
Manifestation: The Problem of Proof
A problem most of us face in trying to manifest the things and situations we want in life is proof. For whatever reason – maybe human nature, maybe the scientific method – we tend to require proof of things before we believe in them. The problem with this is that manifestation doesn’t work that way.
Think of it this way:
If a person wanting to lose weight bases their diet on proof that it’s working, they’ll likely never stick with the diet long enough to see it to fruition.
If a person wanting to curry the affection of a certain party was waiting for proof that party returned their secret affections, they may never take the initiative that would break that ice and get the romance underway.
In my life coaching sessions in Tunbridge Wells, Kent I am telling people all the time: in the language of manifestation, proof comes second; belief and trust comes first. Decisive action comes first. Decision is action, in the language of manifestation. You demonstrate your belief and trust to the universe by taking decisive action upon it, independently of any proof that what you’re doing will yield the desired results.
Proof is a hindrance. A barrier. An obstacle to getting what you want. Decisive action is your way through it. Then proof will follow. Whenever you feel blocked, try this exercise:
1. Think of a goal, then visualise it and ask yourself ‘How does it feel to have it?’ Ideally, something you’ve wanted to manifest but feel stifled taking action on, perhaps because you’re waiting for something else to happen first.
2. Imagine a Genie in a Lamp granting you this wish, this goal. You still have to take the actions required to get it, but you are now guaranteed success. The other chips that are out of your control, those things you’ve been waiting to happen first, will fall where they must to ensure your success.
3. What is the first or critical actions you would take, knowing this?
4. Take that action.
Repeat steps 3 and 4 as necessary, until you have achieved your goal.
The Native Americans always say ‘Thank you!’ after their prayers for something; it’s an act of trust that the answers to their prayers are on their way. We too can act ‘as if’ it’s a done deal. Have trust in the universe!
’til we meet again,
Walk in Beauty;
Walk in Peace.
‘Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony‘
Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’. And is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.
He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.
Manifesting Happiness
“Victory always starts in the head. It’s a state of mind. It then spreads with such radiance and such affirmations that destiny can do nothing but obey.” ~ Douchan Gersi
One of the biggest mistakes you can make in life is basing your happiness on your life’s circumstances. Often we tell ourselves that we’ll be happy when some future event happens. “When I can make a little more money, then I’ll be happy”, “When my kid shapes up, then I’ll be happy”, “I’ll be really happy when this rocky period is over!”
The first (and smaller) of the two problems with this is that waiting around for something to happen before deciding to be happy deprives you of all the happiness you can be experiencing right now.
The much larger problem, however, with this attitude that happiness depends on something outside your own conscious intention is that it impedes the manifestation process of attaining the very things that you’re basing your future happiness upon.
How is this? Because in manifestation (as in electromagnetism) like attracts like. Joy attracts joy. Love attracts love. And happiness attracts happiness. Likewise, unhappiness attracts unhappiness, misery and sorrow attract misery and sorry, and so on.
By choosing to be happy now, regardless of your life circumstances you are claiming a tremendous power already always working within you – but now with you in charge. You can choose to be happy in the face of your life circumstances and in so doing will allow the universe to produce in your life the evidence supporting that state of happiness. The life circumstances validating your inner state of happiness.
In other words, first you feel happy then your life reorients itself around that happiness. It does not work the other way around.
If you are waiting for happiness to come in the form of some thing or event, then you will always be waiting for happiness to come. Because even if that thing or event does occur there will always be some thing else for you to instantly attach your happiness to.
Either we take ownership of our emotions or we are slaves to them, always seeking release, never finding it. There’s always something else to want: better looks, slimmer body, a loving relationship. And wants are good – they’re the seeds of creation. But if we’re the type of people who attach our happiness to the flourishing of the plant that seed has the potential to grow into, then every seed we plant will be another reason to put off our happiness for a later date. And another reason to feel anxious and worried and uncertain while we wait.
If you understand the principles of the Law of Attraction, then you know that the all-important third and final step of the process is to allow that which you desire to come into your life. And the way you do that is with feeling – emotion. The process requires you feel now what it will be like to have the fulfillment of your desires, as if it’s already happened.
For example, if you want a new car: you put the intention out there into the universe, you trust that your request has been received and granted and that the fulfillment of your desires is on its way, and then you ready yourself for its arrival by filling yourself to brimming with the feelings of fulfillment that energetically resonate with it. In other words, a new car is not going to come to someone who doesn’t feel they deserve it. And happiness does not come to someone who can’t take it.
When it comes to manifestation, happiness is a desire like any other. To manifest it outside yourself you first must manifest it inside.
Live life purposefully manifesting, through focusing!
’til we meet again,
Walk in Beauty;
Walk in Peace.
‘Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony‘
Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’.
He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.
Freeing Yourself Of Resistance To Having What You Want
It’s no secret to you that you are your own worst enemy when it comes to having what you want. The precepts of manifestation are deceptively simple, and it turns out there is actually more we can to do get in its way than to help it along. Manifesting your desires, having what you want, requires freeing yourself of these impediments to their actualizing. And this freedom requires reversing a manifestation misconception we all have lurking inside – namely, that you have to do anything to be fulfilled.
In other words, manifestation requires mostly getting out of your own way.
How do I know that everyone has this misconception inside? Because it is a part of our culture. It is taught to us by our environment from our earliest years, and it is reinforced by almost everything we see in society around us. What is this that we’re taught, exactly? We’re taught how to resist, how to say no, how to defend ourselves, how to keep things and people and thoughts and emotions out. Most of us learn far more about saying “No,” growing up than saying, “Yes.”
Now of course there’s no argument here that we must learn to ward against negative influences in order to make our way in the world, but we cannot do so at the expense of being open to positivity. We must learn, while we practice keeping out negativity, to practice allowing in positivity as well. We must unlearn many of the strategies we’ve learned and that we’ve unconsciously integrated into our ways of being that prevent good things from coming into our lives.
So how do we do this? How do you get out of your own way? The same way you might imagine doing it if your emotions or stress level was getting in the way of your productivity. You would relax. You would loosen up. You would nourish yourself. And you would give yourself a pep talk.
Manifestation is all about energy. Everything is energy at its source, including all that you’re trying to manifest. So manifesting the “energies” you want requires putting out the right energies for their manifestation. To do this you must be a clear and open vessel.
Relaxation helps you shed layers of resistance to abundance. When you relax, you let your guard down – literally (on a physical level) and figuratively (on an emotional, spiritual level). Stretching and exercising makes you a strong and healthy, flexible and – above all – open vessel. Nourishing yourself does the same. And uplifting your spirits with affirmations and positive reinforcement puts you in the space again for good things to come.
And all of these things show the universe, the source of having all that you want, that you love and care for yourself, that you deserve to have all you desire. Which brings us to another important question.
What kind of resistances might a person unconsciously have toward their own fulfillment? For starters, as was just mentioned, a sense of not deserving it. Of not being worthy. A belief in having to work harder in order to be rewarded. Guilt, doubt, worry, shame. These are the resistances we are talking about, the ones that keep us from having what we want. And these are the very energies we must vigilantly shed.
The bottom line on freeing ourselves from resistance to having what we want is that we must remain open in order for good things to have a way in. The first step to this is recognizing that these ingrained resistances exist. And the second step is to cultivate an environment within yourself that is inhospitable for these negative influences to exist in anymore.
Live life purposefully manifesting, through focusing!
’til we meet again,
Walk in Peace; Walk in Beauty.
‘Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony‘
Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’.
He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.
The Law of Attraction In A Nutshell
‘Purposeful Manifestation Through Focusing’
When the book and subsequent movie of The Secret came out, people everywhere were buzzing about its revelation: the Law of Attraction. Revealed as the key to the prolific success of some of history’s greatest minds, like Michelangelo and Thomas Jefferson, the Law of Attraction is a powerful insight into the workings of nature that can be consciously, intentional used as a tool for manifestation. A tool whose ideas underlie many, if not most, other manifestation processes.
As big a “secret” as it may be (or rather, may once have been) it is actually quite a simple concept to understand. It is divided into three steps for manifesting, or “attracting”, anything you want into your life. Those three steps are as follows:
1. Ask
2. Accept
3. Allow
Now let’s break these steps down for you, one at a time.
1. Ask
To have what you want, you first must know what you want. Asking is a process of letting the universe know what you want. And maybe even more importantly, letting it know that you know what you want.
Why is this important? Because in doing so, you’re generating a very clear and decisive energy. The source likes that. The clearer and more definitive, the better. Because it is that clarity of vision of knowing what you want, coupled with the singularity of desire that comes from asking for it that targets the “object” of your desire with laser-point accuracy.
2. Accept
Most people have some experience with step 1. Whether in prayer or goal-setting, most of you reading this have already at one time or another asked for what you want. Many of us also know (some, all to well) the experience of asking for what we want and not getting it. That is because asking for it is only the 1st step of the process, and many people either stop here or worse, take actions completely counterproductive to the law of attraction. We ask for what we want, then we promptly, clumsily get in our own way and thwart it’s manifestation.
What actions? Those they display doubt and uncertainty about getting those goals met. Like whining and fretting and complaining about “not having” it yet. Like worrying about your future should you not get it, or worse taking actions that imagine it not happening instead of taking actions that imagine success.
That’s where steps 2 and 3 come into the picture.
Step 2, or Accept, could also be called Receive, because it’s about trusting that your request was heard, and more, that it’s been granted. It’s the meaning of “Ask and ye shall Receive”: that in the asking, you instantaneously set in motion a cycle of energetic events that has the object of your desire already on its way to you.
So what do you do? You sit back and relax, content in the knowledge that your request has been heard and granted and you can move onto other things. If you don’t, and you constantly obsess over this thing you want to manifest, then you’re showing the universe that you don’t really believe it’s coming. You push it away with your distrust of the process instead of accepting that it’s on its way.
3. Allow
The other way we push the manifestation of our desires away is with a sense of undeserving-ness. We don’t act like we get what we want in life, so our life produces evidence of that. But if we act like we get what we want in life, our life produces evidence of that. We must Allow the fulfillment of our wishes to come into our life by creating the energy that supports their existence.
And the way that we do that is by feeling inside what it’s like (not what it would be like, but what it is like) to have the fulfillment of your desires here and now. If step 2 is about Knowing, step 3 is about Feeling. You must exude the energy of someone who’s living as if their next fulfilment is on its way, like a houseguest. You need do nothing but prepare your home for their arrival.
Live life purposefully manifesting, through focusing!
’til we meet again,
Walk in Peace;
Walk in Beauty.
‘Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony‘
Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Cognitive Behavioural Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’.
He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.