Tag: Communication

Business Communication Archives – Spirit Bear Coaching

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Talk is Cheap: Using NLP to Communicate More Effectively by Johnathan Brooks

September 8, 2013 By Johnathan

I was asked by Watt Works Consultancy to write a guest blog for them. You can read it here on their site http://www.watt-works.com/2013/09/talk-is-cheap-using-nlp-to-communicate-more-effectively-by-johnathan-brooks/ or below.

We are delighted this week to have a guest blog by Johnathan Brooks. Johnathan is a Cognitive-Behavioural Coach and Corporate Coach for AXA PPP Healthcare, who also uses NLP approaches extensively in his work. Johnathan’s Coaching practice is based in Tunbridge Wells in Kent.

“In business, communication is essential, and the more accountability and influence you have in the business, the more important it is that you communicate effectively – to employees, team members, co-workers, supervisors, contractors, clients, leads, and so on. Ordinarily we think of effective communication as a mere balance of speaking and listening. However, from the perspective of NLP, many different factors influence our ability to communicate effectively. Understanding these factors will help you communicate more effectively.

These factors fall into three categories:

1. People – who is doing the communicating
2. Messages – what these people are communicating
3. Medium – how they are communicating

People

As implied by our earlier oversimplification of communication as a matter of speaking and listening, in communication there are (at least) two parties – a speaker, or sender, and a receiver, or listener. Each of these two parties has a certain state of mind in that moment that will influence how they are both speaking and listening (sending and receiving). Then, in relation to each other, there is often a disparity of status, or power, between the two parties; this may fluctuate repeatedly throughout a conversation, or a lifetime. But in any given moment, one party is usually the dominant force and one is usually the submissive force.

Messages

This is of course what we think of most when we think of communicating: what we are saying. But there is far more going on, as you may now be starting to realise, than the mere content of your message. There is always what you are not saying; the larger message you are conveying beneath and beyond the words. This is called a ‘meta-message’ and could be something like, “I am better than you,” or “I feel guilty for something.” As you can see, these hidden ‘meta-messages’ color your intended message.

Medium

Finally there is the question of “how” you communicate, which could be looked at in a number of ways. There is of course, the actual medium of communication – speech, print, picture, body language. But there is also the context of the situation – the time and place, as it were. And there are the constrictions of culture, as different cultures imbue their people with different suppositions, expectations and rules regarding proper and improper communication.

Taking all of these factors into account when you communicate is bound to make you a better speaker, listener, team member, and leader.”

Skills in using NLP to communicate more effectively are taught on our Communication Skills and NLP for Business. These courses are available on an open-access and in-house basis. Contact Us today to find out how we can help you connect better with clients and colleagues.

’til we meet again,

Walk in Beauty;
Walk in Peace.

signature

 

‘Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony‘

Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life and Corporate Coach for AXA PPP Healthcare, who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’. And is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.

 

Talk is Cheap: Using NLP to Communicate More Effectively by Johnathan Brooks – Spirit Bear Coaching

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Talk is Cheap: Using NLP to Communicate More Effectively by Johnathan Brooks

September 8, 2013 By Johnathan

 

I was asked by Watt Works Consultancy to write a guest blog for them. You can read it here on their site http://www.watt-works.com/2013/09/talk-is-cheap-using-nlp-to-communicate-more-effectively-by-johnathan-brooks/ or below.

We are delighted this week to have a guest blog by Johnathan Brooks. Johnathan is a Cognitive-Behavioural Coach and Corporate Coach for AXA PPP Healthcare, who also uses NLP approaches extensively in his work. Johnathan’s Coaching practice is based in Tunbridge Wells in Kent.

“In business, communication is essential, and the more accountability and influence you have in the business, the more important it is that you communicate effectively – to employees, team members, co-workers, supervisors, contractors, clients, leads, and so on. Ordinarily we think of effective communication as a mere balance of speaking and listening. However, from the perspective of NLP, many different factors influence our ability to communicate effectively. Understanding these factors will help you communicate more effectively.

These factors fall into three categories:

1. People – who is doing the communicating
2. Messages – what these people are communicating
3. Medium – how they are communicating

People

As implied by our earlier oversimplification of communication as a matter of speaking and listening, in communication there are (at least) two parties – a speaker, or sender, and a receiver, or listener. Each of these two parties has a certain state of mind in that moment that will influence how they are both speaking and listening (sending and receiving). Then, in relation to each other, there is often a disparity of status, or power, between the two parties; this may fluctuate repeatedly throughout a conversation, or a lifetime. But in any given moment, one party is usually the dominant force and one is usually the submissive force.

Messages

This is of course what we think of most when we think of communicating: what we are saying. But there is far more going on, as you may now be starting to realise, than the mere content of your message. There is always what you are not saying; the larger message you are conveying beneath and beyond the words. This is called a ‘meta-message’ and could be something like, “I am better than you,” or “I feel guilty for something.” As you can see, these hidden ‘meta-messages’ color your intended message.

Medium

Finally there is the question of “how” you communicate, which could be looked at in a number of ways. There is of course, the actual medium of communication – speech, print, picture, body language. But there is also the context of the situation – the time and place, as it were. And there are the constrictions of culture, as different cultures imbue their people with different suppositions, expectations and rules regarding proper and improper communication.

Taking all of these factors into account when you communicate is bound to make you a better speaker, listener, team member, and leader.”

Skills in using NLP to communicate more effectively are taught on our Communication Skills and NLP for Business. These courses are available on an open-access and in-house basis. Contact Us today to find out how we can help you connect better with clients and colleagues.

’til we meet again,

Walk in Beauty;
Walk in Peace.

signature

‘Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony‘

Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life and Corporate Coach for AXA PPP Healthcare, who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’. And is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

 

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Spirit Bear Coaching

Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Cognitive Behavioural Coach who has trained in a wide range of treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’.

 

AXA PPP Archives – Spirit Bear Coaching

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Talk is Cheap: Using NLP to Communicate More Effectively by Johnathan Brooks

September 8, 2013 By Johnathan

 

I was asked by Watt Works Consultancy to write a guest blog for them. You can read it here on their site http://www.watt-works.com/2013/09/talk-is-cheap-using-nlp-to-communicate-more-effectively-by-johnathan-brooks/ or below.

We are delighted this week to have a guest blog by Johnathan Brooks. Johnathan is a Cognitive-Behavioural Coach and Corporate Coach for AXA PPP Healthcare, who also uses NLP approaches extensively in his work. Johnathan’s Coaching practice is based in Tunbridge Wells in Kent.

“In business, communication is essential, and the more accountability and influence you have in the business, the more important it is that you communicate effectively – to employees, team members, co-workers, supervisors, contractors, clients, leads, and so on. Ordinarily we think of effective communication as a mere balance of speaking and listening. However, from the perspective of NLP, many different factors influence our ability to communicate effectively. Understanding these factors will help you communicate more effectively.

These factors fall into three categories:

1. People – who is doing the communicating
2. Messages – what these people are communicating
3. Medium – how they are communicating

People

As implied by our earlier oversimplification of communication as a matter of speaking and listening, in communication there are (at least) two parties – a speaker, or sender, and a receiver, or listener. Each of these two parties has a certain state of mind in that moment that will influence how they are both speaking and listening (sending and receiving). Then, in relation to each other, there is often a disparity of status, or power, between the two parties; this may fluctuate repeatedly throughout a conversation, or a lifetime. But in any given moment, one party is usually the dominant force and one is usually the submissive force.

Messages

This is of course what we think of most when we think of communicating: what we are saying. But there is far more going on, as you may now be starting to realise, than the mere content of your message. There is always what you are not saying; the larger message you are conveying beneath and beyond the words. This is called a ‘meta-message’ and could be something like, “I am better than you,” or “I feel guilty for something.” As you can see, these hidden ‘meta-messages’ color your intended message.

Medium

Finally there is the question of “how” you communicate, which could be looked at in a number of ways. There is of course, the actual medium of communication – speech, print, picture, body language. But there is also the context of the situation – the time and place, as it were. And there are the constrictions of culture, as different cultures imbue their people with different suppositions, expectations and rules regarding proper and improper communication.

Taking all of these factors into account when you communicate is bound to make you a better speaker, listener, team member, and leader.”

Skills in using NLP to communicate more effectively are taught on our Communication Skills and NLP for Business. These courses are available on an open-access and in-house basis. Contact Us today to find out how we can help you connect better with clients and colleagues.

’til we meet again,

Walk in Beauty;
Walk in Peace.

signature

 

‘Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony‘

Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life and Corporate Coach for AXA PPP Healthcare, who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’. And is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.

 

The International Resilience Project Archives – Spirit Bear Coaching

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How to Raise Resilient Children

August 22, 2013 By Johnathan

At my daughter’s local primary school in Tunbridge Wells,  the Principal Head asked me to come for an hour one to one life coaching meeting with him to discuss how to build resilience in children. He had noticed over the last few year’s that the resilience in the children had deteriorated. He was concerned that many parents were putting their children under immense pressure to pass the 11 plus as we were in the grammar system area. Self harming was on the increase to 1 in 60 pupils at the school at about the age of ten, which is when the 11 plus is taken.

I was also invited to a parent forum to discuss resilience with the aim of possible content for a school booklet on the subject to help parents raise resilient children. The booklet is still an on going process. Listening to the parents complain to the Principal Head about why their child didn’t make the football team or the gymnastics team made me see how the backgrounds and negative beliefs of the parents is projected onto their children.

For example, if your son wasn’t selected for the football team and you realised that all of the selected boys birthdays were pre-christmas and your son is a post-christmas birthdate, it may well be that the six months difference in strength, speed and skill is big. But if you then tell your son this, will this empower him or give him the sense of ‘hopelessness’ and feel that it’s not worth trying? When perhaps, simply asking your son ‘So what are you going to do about it?’ allows him to take responsibility and teaches him to look for a solution for himself, rather than arguing with the school as a strategy to get your way, a model that your son would then learn from you, who then possibly becomes one of the unpleasant members in society who screams in playgrounds/parks/streets or later in the workplace as a means of getting what they want.

This got me thinking for a blog article.

One of the most difficult things a parent, guardian or teacher has to endure is watching the children they love struggle with change, adversity and loss. We can’t protect them from the realities of life, we realise in these helpless moments. But what we can do is raise our children to be resilient in such realities.

What Makes a Child Resilient

In the extensive “A Guide to Promoting Resilience in Children” by Edith H. Grotberg, Ph.D. of The International Resilience Project, children draw on 3 “sources of resilience”:

  • What and whom they HAVE around them for structure, safety and support. This includes trustworthy relationships, structure in their home, positive role models, encouragement toward autonomy, and access to the necessities of their health, education, security and welfare.
  • Who they ARE as a person that makes them safe and secure in their world. This includes feeling loved and lovable, developing compassion and empathy, pride in oneself, self-responsibility, and a positive attitude.
  • What they CAN do to affect their own safety and security. This includes skills in communication, problem solving, impulse control, dealing responsibly with emotions, measuring the emotional “temperature” of themselves and others, and seeking help from the right people at the right times.

Another way Dr. Grotberg describes these qualities is as: Love, Inner Strength, and Interpersonal Skills.

In order for a child to be as resilient as possible to all circumstances, all three of these sources of resilience — love, inner strength, and interpersonal skills — must be developed to their fullest. Children must have a support system on hand to go through their toughest (and brightest) experiences with them. Children must develop the qualities of being and self-awareness required for resilience (e.g. respect for others, self-responsibility, positive attitude, willingness to help). And children must be able and empowered to interact effectively with the world in which they live (e.g. talking about their problems, controlling their negative impulses, seeking help when needed).

The American Psychological Association lists “10 Tips for building resilience in children and teens” on their website filled with great common-sense advice that we often overlook, or forget how much it matters.

This includes:

  • creating a daily routine and sticking to it
  • promoting good hygiene and self-care
  • speaking openly and honestly about the inevitability of change
  • helping your child to build strong relationships and help other people

 

’til we meet again,

Walk in Beauty;
Walk in Peace.

signature

 

‘Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony‘

Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’. And is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.