Life Coaching: Do Clients That Suffer Really ‘Ask’ For it? – Spirit Bear Coaching

Life Coaching: Do Clients That Suffer Really ‘Ask’ For it?

adult alone anxious black and white
Photo by Kat Jayne on

Happiness Starts Within

In my life coaching practice in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, when listening to clients’ stories, I listen not to the content of their story, but to the context and structure. How did they get into this situation/mess? Or, How do they do that (the issue)? Basic life coaching will simply work on those levels, which is fine. But, if one really listens, the client will also talk about how the issue ‘wounds’ them, but gets missed by the life coach or even by therapists.

On this deeper level, you can then ask how has the wound continued to pop up through out their lives way before the issue that they came to seek help for? Their life script! But when did this wound really start, could they somehow have brought the wound into this lifetime? Now, we’re really going even deeper to their core ‘wounding’. And deeper still, could we therefore all not only have chosen our wounding but also our parents before birth?

In a previous article I wrote about ‘Do We Plan Our Life Challenges Before Birth?’ And is also worth reading to shed more light on the subject. Read here: /?p=160

However, this is not readily accepted by the average person’s belief system of having to experience something to believe it, after all ‘seeing is believing’. Or is it? Can we really trust our perception of events if we project outwards, after generalising, distorting and deleting the information in our brains?

The subject raised is of course a vast one of the evolutionary expansion of the brain, and if you have not already read it I would suggest you read Deepak Chopra’s and Rudolph Tanzi’s ‘Super Brain’, 20012, for the relationship of mind, brain and consciousness. Another useful book is Llyn Roberts ‘Shaping Shifting Into Higher Consciousness’, 2010.

The first issue of choosing one’s parents before birth, I cannot do better than refer you to the incarnation process and soul counselling before conception as have been described by Mme Blazatsky, Alice Bailey, Phoebe Benedict and Eva Pierrakos and apparently depends upon:

1. The maturity of the incoming soul, and

2. The expectant parent with providing the needed life experiences for the fulfilment of the future life task of their child.

So here we come to people’s/client’s need to experience and their (non) belief system. I would first ask:

What is an experience for? The answer has been given, as ‘Every experience is a way to understand and move towards a greater awareness of our journey of inner growth towards Oneness.’ But no experience happens by chance and everything has higher purpose and meaning so the goal is out of separatism into wholeness. A Course In Miracles says, “The choice of the goal is mine, I chose the feelings I experience and I am responsible for what I see”(my reality).

So the problems and painful experiences I encounter through life are:

1. Inherited as part of my soul task, and

2. From my early conditioning and these wounds are named by at least three writers as: Rejection, Abandonment, Humiliation, Betrayal, and Injustice.

And my attitude towards life or belief system about the world is filtered through a mind-set of feelings, thoughts, ideas, and memories that effect my perceptions.

A Course In Miracles says, ‘The atonement (Oneness) might be equated with total escape from the Past and total lack of interest in the Future.’ Heaven is here, now. It is our one responsible to except this atonement. If our intention directs our development process towards healing, wholeness/home this is our life purpose and our unconscious mind will bring into consciousness outer life opportunities for growth.

To say you cannot believe in anything you have not experience is perhaps saying some experiences are too painful to face and victimhood is preferable to the responsibilities of empowerment.

I therefore suggest we all consider which type of wounding resonates with you the most and reflect on the mask you have chosen to wear to hide from the problems you have yet to solve.

These masks maybe of:

  1. Withdrawal,
  2. Dependence,
  3. Masochism (emotional/mental abuse),
  4. Control, or
  5. Rigidity/Denial

Ref: Lise Bourbeau ‘Heal Your Wounds and Find Your True Self’ 2001. 

I hope this addresses a small part of our questions. I like to go much deeper than your average life coach in Tunbridge Wells, Kent. I’ve had too within my own life otherwise our stuff (wounds) will keep on resurfacing!

“In every work of genius, we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson


’til we meet again,

Walk in Beauty;
Walk in Peace.



Causing the Miraculous by Spreading Beauty, Truth & Harmony

Johnathan Brooks, MAC, PG Dip is a Life Coach who has trained in a wide range of personal development treatment methods including the “Power Therapies” (CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (postgrad), EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Master NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming) and has a Post Graduate Diploma in ‘Coaching and NLP’ which he passed with a ‘Commendation’. And is based in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

He is a full member of the Association for Coaching (MAC) and is a Gold member of The Professional Guild of NLP.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s